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The Crazy Website - going crazy on drugs

It was my third time dropping acid and other Psychedelic drugs, I had bought three hits and took two, figuring I'd save the other one for future use. The last time I tripped I had dropped one hit by myself in my apartment in Oklahoma City and fared well on that. It was about a level three trip (Carl Graeme's Level System). Well, I dropped at 10:56 PM on a Sunday at a house my friend was housesitting. He had never been around LSD before so I told him a little about what it does to you.

I was figuring it would take about 45 minutes to start kicking in, but I was way off. About twenty minutes later, I noticed that the patterns on the pillows on the couch were becoming more intense. I told him I was taking off and that I needed to head home because I was driving. Plus, I was getting ready to drive to Louisiana in two days from Alaska. I stuck around a little longer and let him look at my pupils which were quite large by then, and checked out a rug on the floor which was already starting to wave and the couch had begun to slowly breath. I looked at my watch and it had been thirty minutes since I dropped, I knew I had to go right then if I was going to make it home safely (about a ten minute drive).

On the way home, the speedometer needle appeared to bend in the middle and the signs were getting halos around them. In Alaska at this time of year (June), it is light all night (a little dusky around 2:30AM) so other headlights weren't bad.

I stopped at Jack's (a convenience store) to buy a snack for later in the morning. They were almost closed and told me to hurry up. While I was there, two people I knew came in. The one guy started talking to the other one saying he knew him from somewhere. All of a sudden, the words became meaningless for a second, and the second guy's head appeared to be jerking back and forth very rapidly, almost vibrating.

I paid for my candy and took off home, hoping my mother wasn't still awake. She wasn't and I went straight into my room for the most intense experience I have ever had. According to Carl Graeme's trip level descriptions, this trip was a full-blown level four. By this time it was a little after midnight and I put on my headphones and started listening to "Orblivion" by Orb. I had been waiting months to hear that album on acid. It started out cool so I began to try and write a letter to a girl I was friends with in Louisiana (which turned into a bunch of notes as my trip progressed). That was about 12:40 AM, and I had to concentrate as hard as I could to write and keep my thoughts straight, that only lasted enough for about eight lines. I changed my CD to Trip Hop 2, a pretty fast techno album.

Time became very slow, the page was extremely wavy, kind of like a bowl of ripply water, and everything sounded very slow and liquidy. I changed the CD to a high-energy album and the beats became almost insanely slow, it seemed one beat would drag on for half a minute. I hadn't expected the trip to come on so fast and ferocious.

I looked outside and it was a madhouse. For some reason, every time I trip, I see demons and monsters in everything -- they have never scared me though -- and this time was no exception. The trees, the lawn, even the clouds. The grass had dandelions on it and they were the most brilliant yellow I have ever seen, they became the hands of the "lawn demons", hundreds of little, green, yellow-fisted imps in my lawn. The shade on my window had little creases in it, which became blue lightning bolts. The driveway looked very long, narrow, and far away. About this time I started feeling a little weird, like something wasn't right with my body, so I laid back down on my bed. I wanted to look at my pupils but didn't have a mirror and sure as hell wasn't going to the bathroom and risk having to talk to my mom, so I grabbed a CD (Monster Magnet, "Dopes To Infinity"), flipped it over and took a gander.

The rainbows on it were fluid and 3-D. My pupils had taken over my irises.

I had read that you should never look into your own eyes while tripping but I had done it the other two times with no problem (my face would start to slide down towards my neck or I would grow old) so I tried it again. Somewhere along the line, I got the bright idea to ask myself who I was, go figure. Well, I started to repeat it in my mind and that didn't go so great. I got caught up in what I have heard called a feedback loop (or sensory loop). I had repeated that question so many times my mind started doing it faster and faster until I heard a loud, high-pitched beep or squeal or something. That broke me out of it and I realized what had happened, it scared the living crap out of me. Time had slowed down so much that I thought I had been doing it for hours but it had been less than a minute according to my clock and I started thinking I could be caught up in that forever.

I looked around and everything looked totally different, like I had awakened to a new state of reality (which I had). This is where my trip began going bad. I knew that I had to think happy thoughts and go with the flow of the drug. I kept telling myself it was only the drug and I would be fine after a few more hours, that this was only the peak. Only problem was, a few more hours at that time might as well have been years or decades at the rate time was moving for me. That wasn't too satisfying of a thought, then I started realizing that I was thinking in circles and got scared I would get caught up in another feedback loop, so I tried to change my train of thought. I tried to read a book but had barely opened it when I realized the words no longer made any sense, they were just symbols so I put it back on the shelf. I picked up a glass egg I had with spirals on it and I started thinking in circles again as I followed the spiral down so I put it under my bed.

As I laid there trying to think happy and assuring thoughts, I would get hot flashes and I figured it was just the acid because when I got them, the light from my lamp would become very reddish in tint. After what I thought was a few minutes I would look up at the clock to see how long I had before I started to come down a little. The red numbers seemed to float an inch or so in front of the face of the clock. I looked at it at least ten times a minute because it seemed like minutes had gone by and it had only been a few seconds. That was when I started thinking that it was going to last forever. Every time it showed a new minute, it was a little reassuring, I knew time hadn't completely stopped. This started about 12:55AM and lasted until just after 2AM if I remember correctly, no earlier though. It seemed like eternity, I don't know how I coped with that,

I'm not even sure if I did completely because the entire next day after I came down, I couldn't look at a single clock.

I looked at my watch and the face would warp its shape like a distorted blob. I watched ten seconds tick by, looked away and then looked back and I couldn't believe what I saw. The second hand was right back at the beginning of the first ten seconds. I debated taking my watch off but decided in my tripping frame-of-mind that if I did, time would stop completely. It made perfect sense at the time. I held my arm out and it looked alien to me. It had all sorts of new wrinkles and new textures. Sometimes it looked alien, others it looked very old and withered. I could see the tendons and muscles underneath the skin in my hand working as I moved it.

I had taken off my headphones because the music was too slow and repetitive and it made me think I was in another loop. While I was laying there, trying to get myself out of this bad trip, I kept hearing vehicles flying by on the highway which runs right next to my house. When I heard one coming, I jumped up, looked out and watched. They sounded like jet engines (especially the semis which shook the house) and appeared to drag the scenery along with them as they went by. I did this numerous times and began to feel sick so I finally quit. I was also getting over a cold and was kind of stuffed up; I was reminded of this when I almost choked on some snot that had built up in my throat. Then I began to wonder if I had been breathing. Another mistake, I started breathing really hard and felt like I was choking on my tongue, then would get distracted by something else, then remember and start breathing really hard again.

Fortunately, that didn't last too long.

It was raining that night and I had opened the window because I was getting hot. The raindrops sounded like they were everywhere, and then they started sounding like thousands of bugs creeping around my room and inside me. I thought that maybe my headphones would be all right to listen to then, so I attempted to change the CD in my discman. I was tripping so hard, I couldn't really fathom how to do that in one line of thought. I knew I had to open the CD player with a button, then take out the CD, and all that, but I couldn't connect it into one thought of cohesiveness. It was as if I had discovered a new device, knew what it was supposed to do, but had to figure out how to use it from scratch. It took what seemed like forever, I actually gave up a couple times because it was too complicated and exhausting mentally, but the raindrops quickly brought me back to it.

I finally got the cover opened, and when I picked up a CD, it felt like rubber and also as if I had molded fingergrips in it. I dropped it on the floor and opened up my smaller CD carrying case. It contained some country albums, and some alternative music. I started flipping through it trying to remember which ones were positive sounding. Only I had a problem, the CD titles were getting mixed up on the CD's themselves. CD's on one page would have part of the title of a preceding CD on them (like "Blues Jackson" and "Alan Traveler"). Then as I kept flipping, I noticed that I wasn't getting anywhere in the case, I had an infinite number of CD's in there. At that point I gave up on trying to changing the music.

Time was still going by too slow and I was still scared of the loops so I kept looking around, distracting myself. Somehow I kept getting caught up in the same spiral of thoughts all leading back to what I thought was becoming a loop. As far as I was concerned, I was in a whole new world. My guitar chord chart was a bunch of little dots all drifting around on a brownish-red, waving background (normally white). I remember I kept feeling the wood paneling in the wall because it felt, well, reassuring somehow. And the colors flowing through the grain were very interesting too. I finally got up the courage to take my watch off because it was annoying me so much and put that under my bed with the glass egg. I began to rummage around on the shelves above my bed, I had forgotten they were even there. I thought I had discovered a new part of my world. At that time, I also realized that I was going to have to rediscover my entire world and my bed was "homebase".

I found a screwdriver with a clearish, yellow handle. That helped me stay sane a little while because I kind of realized what it was for and how to use it. I began to really look at it and discovered that the cracks and all inside of it was blood and mucus. That made me feel sick to my stomach so I put that under my bed also. Once while staring at my wall I noticed the brackets holding the shelves up and then I noticed the screws in it. Then I had what I thought was a profound thought at that time, "If I had a screwdriver, I could unscrew these." Luckily I had forgotten that I had a screwdriver under my bed.

I kept feeling like I had to do something but couldn't figure out what it was. I finally realized I had to pee. I didn't want to go to the bathroom, which was only five steps from my room, because it was right next to my mom's room; and I had heard her get up and go in the bathroom earlier. I got nervous when I heard her get up because if she had walked in, the only thing I could think of to say was, "Truck, 1:19, good," meaning that I had seen a truck at 1:19 and that meant time was moving and made me feel better. I was so messed up I wasn't sure if I could even talk. I didn't have a choice though, so off I went. I stood at the toilet for a few seconds but couldn't force myself to go. I had to distract myself and let my subconscious do it for me. I felt so relieved it was almost like ecstasy, I didn't know how long I had had to go. As I stepped out, my mom spoke to me from her room. I hadn't tried to talk since the store, almost three hours ago, and didn't know if I would make any sense.

She asked me if I was sick, I said no and asked about her. Don't ask why I drug out the conversation any farther than I had to. She said she had been having cramps and hot flashes and all. I said I was all right and went back to my room. By this time I had come down enough that my trip was starting to improve and began to enjoy myself a little more. I was still borderline bad trip though; certain things would start to make me panic. I had tracers longer than I could believe. I could wave my arm in an outstretched circle slowly and would still almost meet up with the other end of my tracer. Right about then I had another idea, there were other kinds of tracers other than visual tracers. My spiral thoughts were actually me having a thought, then moments later having a "tracer" of that thought come back and so on. It made perfect sense.

Then I needed a drink and decided to get a glass of water from the kitchen. I went as quietly as I could and noticed the living room looked abnormally large and cavernous. It was much cooler out there and I felt less sick. I wanted to go look out of the living room window but didn't want to stay out of my room longer than I had to. I got my glass of water and went back to my room. It tasted so good that I had to force myself to make it last a while. At one point I started playing with it. I dipped my finger in it and held it above the glass to watch it drip. The results were completely unexpected. Instead of the water dripping, the glass rose up to my finger and sucked the water in. I was too surprised to try and repeat it, but it is a very cool memory. By this time my bad trip was over and I was really having fun playing around. I had made a spider web, for my black light, out of white and neon orange yarn on my ceiling, about six or seven feet in diameter and had put little things all over in it like "Runts" candy boxes, assorted pictures, CD covers, etc. It would spin around a little and distort and do all sorts of strange things.

I found my sunglasses and wondered what it would be like to put them on. After about five seconds I had to take them off because when I put them on, it was as if everything had gotten very quiet, dismal, and dark. I had been hearing, strange gurgling noises every once in a while and figured out that I had to go to the bathroom again. I felt a little more cohesive so I wasn't quite as worried about having to talk to my mom.

While I was sitting there, I looked into the mirror on the door and saw my reflection. It looked like me but it seemed like it was a different person. On top of that, everything was waving and breathing very intensely. On my way out, my mom asked me how I was feeling. I said that I was having hot and cold flashes, felt kind of sick, and just had the runs. She said she did too. This was where I found out what was wrong. We had gone to my Aunt and Uncle's house that evening and had eaten some fried halibut. Apparently they didn't it cook it long enough because my mom and I both got food poisoning.

Bingo! That explained all my feelings of being sick. I don't recommend dropping acid when you have food poisoning, but that goes without saying. Anyway, back into my room I went. That was about 4:40AM. While looking around my room, I started wishing that there was some way I could videotape everything I was seeing, thinking, hearing, etc. All the brilliant flowing colors, sensory distortion (seeing colors, hearing sound), 1000 thoughts/minute, everything! It is just so hard to really describe what goes on when you are tripping, and what you do describe is only the surface of it.

After that I was pretty much on my way down. I still had the color shifts, l-o-n-g tracers, and all, so I layed down and watched the sky shift colors from blue to green to red to yellow and so on. I put on different kinds of music for the fun of it. "The Rhythm" by Beat Dominator made the trees appear to be dancing and more friendly, I really enjoyed it with all the highs twisting around and the lows just rumbling through my head. Celine Dion's theme song from Titanic, "My Heart Will Go On" sounded extremely emotional and I listened to it three times in a row with my eyes closed. I have never heard a song sound so beautiful, I could hear every little tremor in her voice. The light show behind my eyelids was spectacular as well, it followed the music. Then I put on a couple different rap albums.

I thought the violence might bother me but it didn't. Master P sounded excellent, but couldn't compare to Bone-Thugs-and-Harmony's "The Art of War." I listened to the second CD with 2Pac on it. I could actually understand all of their lyrics, even on the fast parts. I couldn't remember them later though. Anyway, I was practically completely down by about 10:30 or so almost a twelve hour trip. I only got one hour of sleep that day and combined with the bad part of my trip made me pretty irritable that day. We still had to finish moving some furniture and pack the car and I would get pissed off at the littlest things. It took me the whole day before I really got my mind completely back together, which gave me time to reflect on what had happened that night.

I think it might have turned out better if I had had someone else there that I trusted and was tripping, and could move freely around the house so I wouldn't have felt so paranoid and imprisoned. At one point I was trying to remember how to abort a bad trip because there was no way I was gonna tell my mom to take me to the doctor. I have a new found respect for LSD, set and setting are EXTREMELY important. I had no idea what it could really do to you. I laughed at myself after that when I thought about the time I was going to take four or five hits of purple microdot. I don't think I could have handled that. Anyway, be careful with it and above all, have fun and don't get caught with it! Sorry so long!!!